Site Meter Reflections on Playboy

October 3, 2008

“The Force” to be reckoned with is Bai Ling

If you’re a heterosexual man and you don’t know how to admire small breasts, you need to get a clue already, you ungrateful philistine. In aesthetic terms, those stacks of fatty tissue are essentially jewel cases for the nipples, anyway. Why not build a repertoire of variety of taste? Pretty adjectives like dainty, svelte, and lithe were made to describe beauty like Bai Ling’s as caught by photographer Stephen Wayda for the June 2005 Playboy.

Bai (no condescension here: surnames come first in Chinese) is known as an incorrigible pleasure-seeker, and her life story demonstrates the heroism that a pleasure-seeking disposition is capable of. Her past as a mental patient in the People’s Republic of China reveals intelligence, sensitivity, and self-respect. The Chinese have a great legacy of philosophy and literature, but only a worthless bore could tolerate the repression of that society now. Sometimes, people show valor by going mad. Americans who medicalize madness in all its forms—Dr. Drew Pinsky, anyone?—should look in the mirror and ask themselves how Maoist they are.

Arguably, the entire universe hums constantly with the sound of divine energy. Hinduism symbolizes this as the Sanskrit syllable “Om.” The drone of a didgeridoo has been said to symbolize it. When I’m stoned enough, I’m convinced that the hum of a lightsaber in Star Wars, the invention of sound designer Ben Burtt, serves equally well to symbolize it. Cartoon Network’s run of Star Wars–themed programming these days (the Family Guy tribute, the Robot Chicken tribute, The Clone Wars) encourages me to pay tribute to Bai, a Jedi knight for liberated sensuality.

Earlier Star Wars geekery on this blog:
!lavitsef mlif esrever–ni–sraW ratS a evah s‘teL .derob m‘I
The year before I was born, in a city thousands of miles away: the Jedi Bunny of my dreams
Escape from Thanksgiving—to the world of Star Wars fan films

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 1:53 PM

September 22, 2008

krod a hcus eb ot demahsa eb dluohs I

:esrever ni ,civoknaY “lA drieW” yb htob “,esidaraP hsimA” dna “tI taE” tneserp I ,erusaelp gniweiv dedrater yllaicos ruoy roF



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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 4:37 PM

August 4, 2008

Reason.tv: Ida Ljungqvist knows what marijuana is for

At 1:10 in this video of a Playboy Mansion party, the March 2008 Playmate shows her good judgment and good taste.

I was there for that party. Click here for the embarrassing details of my encounter with Miss March.

The hot brunette in the video embed freeze frame is mistress of ceremonies and Playboy model Adrianne Curry (February 2006 and January 2008)—technically not a Playmate, though not for lack of beauty, as you can see.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 10:55 AM

July 10, 2008

All it needs is a “Plop!” sound effect at the end

Folks, if you don’t find it hilarious to shout “Plop!” at the end of this Tammy Wynette/Naomi Watts/Peter Jackson fan video by YouTuber Peter Warkentin, you have a heart of stone. (But I’m not totally unsentimental. I admit my eyes misted during WALL-E.)

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 9:53 AM

July 3, 2008

Reason.tv: Playboy alum Marty Klein on America’s war on sex

Sex therapist Marty Klein has written articles for Playboy at least as far back as the late Eighties. His summation of his new book in this Reason.tv video makes it sound like something worth reading, doesn’t it?

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 9:39 PM

June 21, 2008

Aren’t giantess YouTubes hot?

Charlie Brown of the overrated comic strip Peanuts is a pussy, not an antihero. Every time Lucy Van Pelt moves the football out of the way before he can kick it, I want to say to her what Palpatine says to nine-year-old Anakin at the end of The Phantom Menace: “We will watch your career with great interest.” In the spirit of admiration, not resentment, of female strength, let’s watch some giantess videos.

YouTuber Jesper611 admits he didn’t make this video, but we can all thank him for uploading “Annah Grows”:


Dude, Where’s My Car? ends with Miss October 1999–turned–2000 Playmate of the Year Jodi Ann Paterson as a giantess. Unfortunately, the music video of this scene to “I Feel the Earth Move” by Carole King has disappeared from YouTube, so I’ll make do with the scene straight from the movie (thanks, Megagrey):

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 9:45 AM

May 22, 2008

!lavitsef mlif esrever–ni–sraW ratS a evah s‘teL .derob m‘I


:ereh ffuts fo dnik taht wohs nac I litnu lla su htiw eb ecroF eht yaM .nub a gnimrof ylsuoenatnops yb yportne fo wal eht yfed nac riah esohw nairarbil a eb ot tuo nrut dluow namow eht ,yllaniF .ecaf s‘namow eht yrd-muucav ot KCOC sih esu dluow nam eht ,nehT .setteragic etutitsnocer dluow srevol eht ,tsriF .daetsni YHPARGONROP sdrawkcab wohs dluoc I ,hsidurp os t‘nerew ebuTuoY ylno fI

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 6:50 PM

May 9, 2008

Respect Jayde Nicole. She’s the Playmate of the Year.

Without irony or hesitation, I respect the tattoo of the word respect a few inches below the navel of Miss January 2007. It asserts itself gracefully enough to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wouldn’t dare disrespect it.

I’m no fan of affirmative action, but I’ll make an exception for brunette Playmates of the Year.

This is the perfect segue to Mr. “Respect” himself, Ali G, leading a panel discussion on pornography:

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 4:40 PM

May 4, 2008

When Ysabella Brave says to misbehave, no fella can refuse


Ysabella Brave is a smart enough performer to understand the relationship between silliness and sexiness. True to her name, she takes rather bold risks in this arena that pay off marvelously. I’ve never seen anything quite like this next video in all my research on the history of pinups, cheesecake, exotic dance, and glamour (the song is one of her own):

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 4:27 PM

April 14, 2008

This time of year, small-government libertarianism should look especially good

If you live in the U.S., your tax return is due tomorrow. While the price tag of our overreaching federal government has your attention, please watch these videos on good things that the government wastes money to save us from, respectively immigrants and marijuana.

“Thank you for calling Reason.tv. Please press one for English.” Say, I wonder whose voice that is at the very beginning of this video on immigration. (That reminded me to update my blog post on the women of Reason magazine to include the lovely and talented Virginia Postrel, by the way.)


Pot.tv apparently stopped archiving this documentary on marijuana prohibition. But Reason.tv’s Dan Hayes has discovered it at Google Video.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 12:52 PM

February 24, 2008

Those liberty-loving temptresses of Reason magazine

At 3:30 p.m. on Monday, February 18, someone in Vancouver, Washington (not British Columbia!) Googled kerry howley fan club and reached an earlier post of mine, “Is Sally Satel the Sophia Loren to Kerry Howley’s Jayne Mansfield?” (Information courtesy of SiteMeter.)

As a senior editor of Reason, Howley (pictured above) deserves better than the leering she gets from us libertarian horn dogs. But since it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission, I’ll go ahead and be part of the problem. She’s yummy! Fellas who wonder about her voice, her mannerisms, and her mind can sample them at Bloggingheads.tv. They won’t be disappointed.

Speaking of yummy, Reason associate editor Katherine Mangu-Ward (above) holds the alluring promise of culinary adventure for those with politically incorrect appetites. A couple of years ago, she read a passing reference to antelope steak in an O. Henry short story, she tells us:
Why are there no antelope steaks at my supermarket?, I wondered. An innocent beginning to an obsession.

Bird watchers keep a life list of every species they have ever spotted. My life list is of species I have consumed. Both hobbies have the same root: It’s the impulse of a born collector who doesn’t like to have stuff lying around. All that remains is the memory of a flavor, wrapped—as taste memories always are—in the sights, sounds, and smells of the meal, the company, and the conversation.

Since that fateful day, I’ve nibbled on caribou filet, alligator jambalaya, elk medallions, yak dumplings, buffalo burgers, crocodile stir fry, ostrich burgers, emu jerky, and kangaroo loin. These memorable meals have all been interspersed with the merely interesting—frogs, ducks, rabbits, turtles, and deer—and the downright domesticated—cow, pig, and lamb.

I’ve had more than my fair share of eel, as well. Most of it was barbequed [sic] at sushi bars, though once I tried ordering it in a dim Russian restaurant in Boston. (They were fresh out of eel that night. Go figure.)
True to her magazine’s libertarian mission, she calls her hobby, among other things, “an exercise in enjoying the most notable fruits of globalization.” Her article ends with two recipes: kangaroo with fig sauce, and Tibetan momo (yak meat dumplings). Boy, oh, boy. What guy can resist the simultaneous charm assault on the brain, the heart, and the stomach?

Elsewhere online, Mangu-Ward identifies her personality type as that of the “Fieldmarshal Rational.” No problem here; strong women are sexy as far as this Composer Artisan is concerned. Watch her do the TV discussion thing on YouTube.

Last but not least, Shikha Dalmia, a senior analyst at the Reason Foundation, deserves a place of honor here. Besides her beauty, I admire her excellent taste in stand-up comedians. Hot damn, any of these three ladies would be loads of fun on a date!

Update, April 9, 2008, 10:46 a.m.:

(Photo credit: Rod Dreher at Beliefnet.) Although I didn’t typically read Reason when she ran it from 1989 to 2000, it was sheer ingratitude for me to forget to include Virginia Postrel in this post. She wrote one of the “Intellectual Turn-Ons” in this blog’s sidebar, The Substance of Style: How the Rise of Aesthetic Value Is Remaking Commerce, Culture, and Consciousness. Libertarian women appear to be characterized by courage: Postrel not only discusses the politics of organ transplants in this Reason.tv video but actually does something about it for a friend in need. Wow!

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 9:06 AM

February 1, 2008

Learn to stop worrying and hate John McCain

Republican presidential candidate John McCain is superficially charming, and he showed admirable courage in his ordeal as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Other than that, don’t expect to hear a good word about him from me. If you like the military misadventures of George W. Bush, you’d love a McCain presidency. Mr. “Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran” believes so firmly in preemptive war that this video exaggerates only a little comparing him to the 1964 movie Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb:


TheRealMcCain.com is the source of the video. (Although I thank Lew Rockwell for making me aware of it, I also note that Reason.com implicates Rockwell, with some plausibility, as the author of the offensive portions of the Ron Paul newsletters that recently embarrassed the libertarian movement.)

The essential problem with McCain’s philosophy of government is that he loves his country fanatically while failing to understand his country’s distinct virtues. He loves the power of the government, through either military force or the force of law, to muscle its way to public virtue and “national greatness.” But individual liberty, the idea that made the United States a truly grand experiment in world political history, is always expendable for the sake of those goals. In 2006, for the Los Angeles Times, Matt Welch did the research on McCain that most journalists have shirked:
Liberals and conservatives alike fail to truly reflect his views, McCain writes, because “neither emphasizes the obligations of a free people to the nation.” His main governmental inspiration is Teddy Roosevelt, the “Eastern swell who became a man of the people,” whose great accomplishment was “to summon the American people to greatness.” In Roosevelt’s code, McCain writes approvingly, it was “absolutely required that every loyal citizen take risks for the country’s sake.” This is an essentially militaristic view of citizenship, one that explains many of McCain’s departures from partisan orthodoxy. Unlike traditional Republicans, he will gladly butt into the affairs of private industry if he perceives them to be undermining Americans’ faith in government; unlike Democrats, he thinks the executive branch generally needs more power, not less.

“Our greatness,” he wrote in Worth the Fighting For, “depends upon our patriotism, and our patriotism is hardly encouraged when we cannot take pride in the highest public institutions.” So, because steroids might be damaging the faith of young baseball fans, drug testing becomes a “transcendent issue,” requiring threats of federal intervention unless pro sports leagues shape up. Hollywood’s voluntary movie-rating system? A “smoke screen to provide cover for immoral and unconscionable business practices.” Ultimate Fighting on Indian reservations? “Barbaric” and worthy of government pressure on cable TV companies. Negative political ads by citizen groups? They “do little to further beneficial debate and healthy political dialogue” and so must be banned for 60 days before an election if they mention a candidate by name.

If his issues line up with yours, and if you’re not overly concerned by an activist federal government, McCain can be a great and sympathetic ally. But chances are he will eventually see a grave national threat in what you consider harmless, or he’ll prescribe a remedy that you consider unconscionable.
McCain is arguably even less libertarian than Hillary Clinton. That’s impressive, but not in a good way.

Welch has done it again for today’s LAT, saying, “The most pro-war presidential candidate in a decade is winning the 2008 GOP nomination thanks to the antiwar vote.”

Six degrees of Playboy: One of the Turner TV networks once had a series called Our Favorite Movies. Various celebrities hosted movies, periodically interrupting them to explain what they especially like about them. If I recall correctly, Hugh Hefner hosted Dr. Strangelove (in which one character is seen gazing at a Playboy centerfold). I wish I hadn’t missed that presentation. Does anyone have a video bootleg?

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 12:00 PM

January 30, 2008

Thank God the FCC is protecting America from the human body

At Hit & Run, Radley Balko reports that the Federal Communications Communist Commission has fined ABC $1.43 million for showing an “indecent” episode of NYPD Blue five years ago.

Be sure to consult your physician before viewing this YouTube of the offending portion of the show, in which a woman’s bare buttocks are clearly visible:


Bizarrely, The Washington Post describes the FCC as the David to ABC’s Goliath, rather than vice versa:
FCC indecency investigations begin when the agency receives a viewer or listener complaint about a program and can drag on for months or years. The lightly staffed FCC enforcement bureau must go up against broadcasters, which have more legal and financial resources to battle the proposed fine and have a vested interest in dragging out the proceeding. After the enforcement bureau makes a finding, it must be voted on by the FCC’s five commissioners, who were occupied with cable television and wireless spectrum issues through much of 2007.
Never mind that the FCC is violating ABC’s First Amendment rights under a crypto-Marxist rationale of “public ownership of the airwaves.” Never mind that the government is acting on behalf of a tiny number of Church Ladies to punish a television network for placing adult content in a characteristically adult—and very popular—evening drama. Never mind that the authority of the FCC to impose the fine at all depends shamelessly on a time zone technicality (only ABC affiliates in the Central and Mountain zones are being fined, because that’s where the show ran at 9 p.m. instead of 10). In spite of all this, the public-morality bureaucrats are the underdogs in this fight.

Defenders of the FCC policy seem to fear that, some Saturday morning, TV networks might suddenly replace kids’ cartoons with pornography if they weren’t threatened with fines for indecency. On this particular issue, conservative culture warriors resemble the left-wing Adbusters crowd with their talk of amoral corporate greed. But networks have no more economic incentive to make stupid programming choices than a supermarket does to put wasabi in my milk.

If you’re as pissed tinkled off as I am about the FCC, don’t miss this unforgettable song from Family Guy. (I thank local friend Matt for encouraging me to link to the song here.)

Addendum, January 31, 2008, 9:32 a.m.: Since I’ve placed this post in the “Non-Playboy Hotties” category—and since the scene was obviously shot without a body double—I feel negligent if I don’t mention the name of the actress, Charlotte Ross.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 10:48 AM

January 21, 2008

On Martin Luther King day, consider “Barbie Girl” by Aqua

With all due respect to Dr. King’s legacy, I promise that it’s not as much of a non sequitur as you think. As always, YouTube may be lying if it calls the video “no longer available.” Reload this web page and give it another go.


I have to admit that Reflections on Playboy is not necessarily a model of racial sensitivity. When someone in the Bush administration wondered out loud about bringing back the draft, the paraphrase in my post title that day was “18-year-olds are the new niggers.” I still wonder about my own wisdom in using a word that probably disturbs African Americans in ways that I, as a white guy, can never completely understand. Still, this is by far the most appropriate day of the American civic calendar for me to put my two cents in. And if I can’t be a racial saint, maybe I can at least be weird enough to command attention, even a kind of respect, when I share some thoughts on King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

I spend a lot of my time at this blog defending certain cultural artifacts against charges of vulgarity. For an earlier MLK day, I observed that, with all the sobriety inherent in his mission, King was not ashamed to exert influence on frivolous items of pop Americana like Star Trek and Playboy. Nor should he have been. History shows that, whenever human beings are liberated, they invest in frivolity. Suddenly free of the Taliban vice squads in 2001, the people of Afghanistan disappointed Western snobs by going for “shallow,” “materialistic” things like consumer electronics and fashionable haircuts. Wouldn’t you have done the same thing in their position?

King had a noble dream of interracial justice and peace. In their various ways, Playboy and songs like “Barbie Girl” remind us of the “low” dreams of sensual pleasure and sexual satisfaction that seem to compete with the noble stuff for humanity’s attention. Perhaps a sense of zero-sum competition between low and high dreams encouraged King in his socialism. But let’s remember King as a hero, not a god. Even after the scandal of racist rhetoric that has just embarrassed the libertarian movement, let’s all consider the possibility that a free market in almost all goods and services—including education and health care—is the best deal for consumers of whatever color. Maximal realization of King’s dream may involve transcendence of King’s economic prejudices. Please think it over, everybody.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 5:40 PM

January 5, 2008

Did you know Playboy has an official anthem? Now you do.

According to the YouTuber who uploaded this, the recording is by Henry Mancini. But “Playboy’s Theme” is a Cy Coleman composition. I’m not a jazz aficionado, but I notice that this music typifies jazz at its best. At once, it’s both sexual and celestial.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 3:22 PM

December 30, 2007

In 2008, may the chicken to everyone’s Peter Griffin be defeated once and for all

If YouTube lies to you and calls this video “no longer available,” simply reload this web page. And come what may, never take a coupon from a six-foot animated rooster.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 10:10 AM

December 29, 2007

March 2006 video footage of Hugh Hefner on marijuana

Thanks to Pot TV, I can direct you to something beautiful that YouTube won’t allow me to embed here: Hugh Hefner’s statements about marijuana policy from March 30, 2006. (By the way, I also attended the same event in 2007.)

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 11:36 AM

December 18, 2007

The news makes me snooze. I’d rather watch the Gnooze.

The two sources of this delightful video are here and here.


Update: December 20, 2007, 6:40 p.m.: In today’s installment, Marta Costello thanks my blog by name for publicizing the Gnooze. You’re very welcome.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 10:34 AM

December 10, 2007

Lord Ganesha save the mouse that looks like a rabbit!

I ask sincerely, since I believe I have cause to thank that deity anyway.

I’ll admit that this is species lookism on my part, but don’t judge me before viewing the CNN video. Beavis and Butt-head never jumped the proverbial shark by turning nice, and even they would have said, “Awww.”

Hypothetical date of a lifetime (in a good way) Katherine Mangu-Ward will eat anything—except for these cuties.

In related news, an endangered wild rabbit of Florida, Sylvilagus palustris hefneri, was named after you-know-who.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 11:22 AM

December 1, 2007

Are you a Playmate at heart? This song is for you.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 8:09 AM

November 28, 2007

John Williams’ score for Catch Me If You Can as Chapman’s Homer

On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer

Much have I traveled in the realms of gold,
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne;
Yet did I never breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like stout Cortez [sic] when with eagle eyes
He stared at the Pacific—and all his men
Looked at each other with a wild surmise—
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.
—John Keats (1816)

I draw the analogy between the Romantic poem and the 2002 film score in the spirit of the revolutionary series of lectures on commerce and culture by Paul Cantor.

But Cantor’s wisely blurred distinctions do not invalidate all standards of taste as such. Perhaps a good working definition of kitsch is any piece of art, craft, or entertainment too stylized, affected, or bland to be recognizably human. By that standard, John Williams has rescued the “lounge” sensibility of today’s music nostalgia from the kitsch ghetto with the musical passage above.

Until that opening theme music, I was annoyed by lounge’s hooker-and-john rituals of pretending to dislike what one likes by finding elaborate ways to say, “It’s so bad that it’s good. Don’t confuse me with a dork because I enjoy this.” Lounge has always had some true, sincere artists working in it, but the irony has usually been too rich for my blood. Williams rounds the sensibility out by adding a natural, believable sense of menace to it. The result is something timelessly hip.

If science is essentially disciplined curiosity, art and art criticism are disciplined hedonism. Don’t snicker. One thing I mean by discipline is integrity about one’s aesthetic pleasures. A sense of irony is a virtue—in moderation.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 2:33 PM

November 20, 2007

Escape from Thanksgiving—to the world of Star Wars fan films

Does Thanksgiving force you to endure the company of a bunch of bozo relatives? I can feel your anger. It makes you stronger. Everyone who wastes your time during this extended weekend is now an enemy of the Republic. Do what must be done, Lord/Lady (SINISTER WORD). Ignore your next of kin without mercy. Watch these online videos instead of talking to them.

Ryan Wieber and Michael “Dorkman” Scott show formidable skill in filmmaking as well as the Jedi arts.



Pink Five is not to be underestimated. Like the illegal Mexican immigrants who become a feature film crew in Bowfinger, she appears politically incorrect at first but turns out rather elegantly empowered.

If you like Shakespeare in Love, you’ll appreciate this variant on it.

Que la Fuerza te acompañe.

Update, November 25, 2007, 2:29 p.m.: Until today, I believed that Nick Gillespie’s characteristic black leather jacket indicated priesthood in the Church of the Fonz à la Family Guy. But the dark side was clouding my judgment.

Update, October 2, 2008, 1:13 p.m.: The new video embeds of Pink Five’s host, Atom Films, start automatically when you load the web page. Since visitors to my blog deserve better than the noise pollution of all four of her films playing at once, I replaced the embeds with a poster JPG link.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 10:05 AM

November 11, 2007

Think your kid’s puberty is funny? YouTube shows how much you are hated.

How do I know? Because this diabolical musical variation on Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds looks so much like the sadistic glee of the two dipshits who gave me life in teasing me in public on a difficult subject during a difficult time. Not coincidentally, it’s the sadistic glee I take in publishing this post, too. This is a scene of grand-scale science-fiction violence with imagery clearly intended to evoke the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Sensitive persons, you know the drill.


Naturally, Wikipedia can tell you everything you didn’t know you would enjoy knowing about “Yakety Sax” (not to be confused with the less interesting “Yakety Yak” by the Coasters).

For another inspired take on extraterrestrials extra-tyrannicals, read here.

Update, June 15, 2008, 5:37 p.m.: Probably the fourth time all the way through for me, the Spielberg version of the Wells novel is as good as I remember.

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 12:07 AM

October 26, 2007

Why the “new atheists” need to go back to the drawing board

I publish this post in the spirit of the unlikely but historically interesting dialogue between Playboy and mainline organized religion in the 1960s. Although I make no excuse for religion as the term is understood by, say, Osama bin Laden or Jack T. Chick, I believe I can defend a certain sophisticated kind of religiosity against the newly emboldened generation of militant atheists, like Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett, Richard Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens.

The state of the art in this militancy is represented by this blog post at Jewcy.com (courtesy Reason.tv) inspired by a debate between atheist Hitchens and theist Dinesh D’Souza (unabridged video). First, Josh Strawn explains his problems with D’Souza’s arguments. Then he reveals (accurately) that atheism wasn’t fully spoken for in that debate:
But to Hitchens: why not school people in precisely how the human mind does work at this point in the argument? It certainly does obey laws—laws so material that the notions of subjectivity and consciousness on which the theist’s argument rest get blown to smithereens. If a human subject with a “mind” who makes ethical decisions that transfer to his or her immortal soul suffers a brain injury impairing his or her interpretive systems, ability to read human emotions (key to the brain response we know as ‘compassion’) then what’s happened to the soul? If I can remove the part of a person’s brain that enables ethical judgment, have I not surgically removed their moral soul? This connection between what the religious call the soul and what is known about material brain functionality severely undermines the theist’s notion of the “I” that makes choices that bear on “my” eternal soul. If I’m a neuroscientist, I can plug your immortal soul into a machine and map it’s [sic] electricity.

Descartes believed that somewhere in the brain there was a driver’s seat for the soul—the site where “you” make the decision to act, whether morally or immorally. But the “I” that so many take for granted is known to be nothing more than the brain’s interpretation of its own complex functioning. Multiple things occur in the brain that the “I” isn’t aware of and couldn’t control no matter how hard it tried. The notion of heaven, this place where all the “I”s will someday go because of things they did or didn’t do, is not commensurate with what is known about the brain. The human “I” in other words is little more than the transcendentalizing of an evolved brain phenomenon. If one accepts evolution, as D’Souza does, then one must also accept that these brains once had no ability to conceive of themselves in this way, much less to glorify it so. And so grows a new problem for the theist—not the atheist—to explain, one that isn’t unlike the ensoulment debate regarding abortion. Whence did the soul of the “I” come into being in terms of human evolution? And how can something be transcendent if it can be surgically removed?

Many have charged the new atheists of wearing out an old argument and passing off as if its [sic] new. But these questions are completely current. Francis Crick proclaimed the brain to be the great frontier of the 21st century and it has only been with the advent of computers in the last 20-30 years that the intensive acceleration in learning has taken place. Hitchens, Dennett, Harris, and Dawkins are not beating dead horses by the name of Russell or Nietzsche. They are pushing back the post-everything world’s increasing tendency to accept bullshit. And their rebuttals to this trend stand on foundations that aren’t hundreds or thousands but mere tens of years old. Hitchens could have been a bit more forward with some of this information. D’Souza could stand to be a bit more aware of it. But hey, the best bullshitters are the ones who believe their own bullshit.
Strawn foolishly tips his hand by mentioning René Descartes. Descartes’ framing of the mind-body problem has undeniable flaws. But this does not mean that the essential problem he faced is not a real problem for philosophy, even now. To prove it, I quote at length from How the Mind Works, by an especially smart atheist, Steven Pinker:
  • If we could ever duplicate the information processing in the human mind as an enormous computer program, would a computer running the program be conscious?
  • What if we took that program and trained a large number of people, say, the population of China, to hold in mind the data and act out the steps? Would there be one gigantic consciousness hovering over China, separate from the consciousnesses of the billion individuals? If they were implementing the brain state for agonizing pain, would there be some entity that really was in pain, even if every citizen was cheerful and light-hearted?
  • Suppose the visual receiving area at the back of your brain was surgically severed from the rest and remained alive in your skull, receiving input from the eyes. By every behavioral measure you are blind. Is there a mute but fully aware visual consciousness sealed off in the back of your head? What if it was removed and kept alive in a dish?
  • Might your experience of red be the same as my experience of green? Sure, you might label grass as “green” and tomatoes as “red,” just as I do, but perhaps you actually see the grass as having the color that I would describe, if I were in your shoes, as red.
  • Could there be zombies? That is, could there be an android rigged up to act as intelligently and as emotionally as you and me, but in which there is “no one home” who is actually feeling or seeing anything? How do I know that you’re not a zombie?
  • If someone could download the state of my brain and duplicate it in another collection of molecules, would it have my consciousness? If someone destroyed the original, but the duplicate continued to live my life and think my thoughts and feel my feelings, would I have been murdered? Was Captain Kirk snuffed out and replaced by a twin every time he stepped into the transporter room?
  • What is it like to be a bat? Do beetles enjoy sex? Does a worm scream silently when a fisherman impales it on a hook?
  • Surgeons replace one of your neurons with a microchip that duplicates its input-output functions. You feel and behave exactly as before. Then they replace a second one, and a third one, and so on, until more and more of your brain becomes silicon. Since each microchip does exactly what the neuron did, your behavior and memory never change. Do you even notice the difference? Does it feel like dying? Is some other co