Site Meter Reflections on Playboy: <strike>Burning</strike> Tearing up my <strike>draft card</strike> jury summons

May 23, 2009

Burning Tearing up my draft card jury summons

According to the letter I received from the jury commissioner’s office of Humboldt County, California, I am to report for civic duty on the morning of June 3. Fuck that shit. I’ll be driving my rented car to Los Angeles for the annual benefit party for the Marijuana Policy Project at the Playboy Mansion. I successfully blew off jury duty in Sacramento County; using somewhat different tactics, I’ll do the same on the redwood coast.

As far as any government official is concerned, I never saw that jury summons. It must have gotten lost on the way to my mailbox. Anyone who saw me tear it up and put it in a wastebasket at the Borders bookstore in Eureka was hallucinating. It never happened.

Please understand that I’m not as irresponsible as I might seem at first in shirking jury duty. My support for jury nullification, by which jurors have the prerogative of judging not only courtroom testimony but also the law itself, would make me useless in the eyes of prosecutors and judges. For instance, my political convictions would force me to vote “not guilty” for drug dealers and prostitutes (where only consenting adults are involved). I’ll never be allowed to sit on a jury where I can make a difference. If I pretend I never saw the summons, and Humboldt County pretends it never sent it, time and money will be saved.

I thank Katherine Mangu-Ward of Reason for inspiring me with the story of Erik Slye of Montana, who, for the record, would rather count the wrinkles on his dog’s balls than sit on a jury. That’s the spirit.

Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 1:50 PM

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