Site Meter Reflections on Playboy: Reflections on Playboy declares testosterone bankruptcy

October 1, 2008

Reflections on Playboy declares testosterone bankruptcy

In my case, the stereotype about us porn addicts is 180 degrees off. It’s not women but men that I hate. It might not matter at all, except that my scorn of the company of men arguably keeps me from happiness as a man. It’s a lovely coincidence that a movie called Humboldt County about the wish to change one’s life is in wide release just when I’m struggling to build a new life here in Humboldt County. But wherever I go, there I am.

If I had had the balls to tell the truth about my psychic needs as a male for the first 36 years of my life, I believe I wouldn’t have ended up displaying my balls in such a ridiculous, disgusting way in the Arcata fitness club I just joined. Several times over several days, I’ve worked my lower abdominals with reclining pelvis lifts in the weight room. My characteristic foolish pride as a nerdy rebel too cool to be cool made me slow to realize what I looked like. I became aware that, with the lower half of my body sticking up in the air in my chosen workout attire, the shape of my scrotum was prominently visible in my trousers. I was mortified as I sat alone yesterday in my motel room doing the social math. The coin finally dropped. Unfortunately, I wasn’t just being paranoid when I overheard people snickering while I did those lower-ab exercises. Damn, I’m so ashamed! With all due modesty, I’m too smart to have a history of social blunders like this unless I have attitude problems to correct.

Other incidents have troubled my conscience recently, too. For instance, I’m tired of acting like an obsessive-compulsive Asperger patient around beautiful women because of my cowardly, hypocritical half-repression of the urge to flirt. The dilemma is that male bonding sucks, but it may be the only way to gain valuable intelligence and encouragement to do well with women. At puberty, I felt superior to the other boys and their crudeness and rowdiness. In my thirties, I worry about the consequences of my alienation from them. After all, how much credibility can I have while blogging about a men’s magazine if I hate men?

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Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 4:39 PM

  • Anonymous R M Roxinger left this comment at October 3, 2008 6:45 PM  
    "The dilemma is that male bonding sucks, but it may be the only way to gain valuable intelligence and encouragement to do well with women."

    I have similar feelings. I grew up being picked on a lot by other boys, hence I got into fights constantly. I think that's why I don't bond as well with my own gender as an adult. Thus I've had virtually no guidance on male-female r'ships from a male perspective except from listening to the radio shows of men's-rights activists such as Glenn Sacks, Marc Rudov & Tom Leykis. If we as a gender are oppressed in arenas such as dating, marriage, divorce & criminal justice as these guys claim we are, then our tendency to detest each other's company can prevent us from uniting when we need to. So thanks for bringing up an important point; if we can't bond well with our own gender, how can we bond with the opposite one?

  • Anonymous Deus X. Nihilo left this comment at October 17, 2008 11:31 AM  
    You're most likely not going to pick up a whole lot of reliable pointers about women from other men these days, anyway. It's a pretty rare male who knows the secret, which I will now share with you:

    TALK TO WOMEN LIKE THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS.

    It's utterly amazing how many men cannot figure out this basic common sense notion.

    Of course, many women like to be complimented by men in some fashion, either on their appearance or their intelligence, or some combination of attributes. But it's important that the compliments be sincere and not attempts to "score," to quote today's common masculine jargon. I myself make it a point to strike up a conversation with a woman I find attractive at least once a day.

    Of course, this would require you to be genuinely interested in the women you talk to, which I don't know is possible for a man who sees them as mere assemblages of purely physical parts, such as "jewel cases for nipples."

  • Blogger Brian Sorgatz left this comment at October 17, 2008 12:37 PM  
    Deus,
    My skull is a jewel case for a brain with powers you severely underestimate. What makes you think I’m not smart enough to appreciate women on more than one level? Why do you lay a guilt trip on me for treating the female body as a subject of aesthetic judgment, like food or music—as if it were impossible to acknowledge women as people at the same time? It’s a cheap shot.

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