Reflections on Playboy: I should have mentioned my girlfriend by now

May 26, 2008

I should have mentioned my girlfriend by now

On May 1, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Palfrey was driven to suicide for her pragmatism about the relationship between sex, love, and money. When I go back to my sex surrogate therapist in July*, I’ll pretend to shove my middle fingers through the eye sockets of those disgusting federal bureaucrats as I bang my sweetie here in California. This Memorial Day, the pledge is the least I can do in memory of one of the sexual revolution’s bravest generals. God bless her refusal to apologize for harmless entrepreneurship.

I don’t care to mention my therapist’s name, or even make up a fake one for her. I reserve the right to be shy sometimes—occasionally with a vengeance. But I’ll say that I started seeing her in 2005 and had to give it up after a few months because of the sudden financial crisis of having to buy a new Macintosh. My antique 2000 iMac had finally been destroyed by the cockroaches. While I still had to go to an Internet café to publish it, I started Reflections on Playboy and became obsessed with it.

From my therapist, I get training in physical intimacy. Meanwhile, I’m required to make regular visits to a talk therapist, somebody to monitor the relationship as a third party. She and I talk but do not have intimacy. It’s been good for me, I have no regrets, and I look forward to finishing what I started.

Besides, the vice cops who waged psychological warfare on Palfrey are the ones to blame for my need to have that therapy in the first place. If they had only spent their time giving me hand jobs instead of menacing her, everything would have been better in every way. When will people start noticing that I always know best?

*Update, July 3, 2008, 7:24 p.m.: Unfortunately, it’s not happening this month. Maybe next month.

Labels: Lib, PJ, Rom

Posted by Brian Sorgatz at 4:57 PM

R M Roxinger left this comment at May 27, 2008 12:02 AM
Good for you, Brian, that you found a surrogate to show you the ropes of sexual intimacy. This 32-year-old virgin envies you & wishes he had the time/money to do the same! Oh well, I may yet get my piece of this pie called love sooner or later.

Brian Sorgatz left this comment at May 27, 2008 10:25 AM
R M,
I think that if you wake up every morning with the intention of loving yourself as a sexual being, respecting everyone you meet as a sexual being, and learning more and more about sex and love at the pace appropriate for you, you’ll be fine.

Melissa left this comment at May 28, 2008 6:50 PM
Rock on man! We all need a little lovin'.

Hope you are well. Are we going to get more pics from the mansion?

Brian Sorgatz left this comment at May 29, 2008 10:54 AM
Melissa,
Hugh M. Hefner doesn’t enjoy himself at the Mansion just for his own sake, and neither will I. His pleasures are a kind of philanthropic service in that they suggest to others how much pleasure is possible in a human life. On a smaller scale, I want to show love to my friends by promising pictures and a written report—and keeping my promises.

I love you guys. I won’t let you down.

Robert Paulson left this comment at June 15, 2008 11:36 AM
Unfortunately life is a cruel classroom when it comes to women. I am in my 40's and still barely grasp the counter intuitive "right" way to deal with them.

Sometimes after dating a woman for a while, I let my guard down and act truthfully and voila! they start losing interest.

The reason I tell you this is that no matter how sexually adept you are, you have to master the art of understanding women before the sex part comes into play.

The only way to do that is to date a lot of women.

May 26, 2008

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